Caregiver stories: Bernadette and Tyrone

Bringing my husband Tyrone home from the hospital after he suffered a cardiac arrest and related brain damage was one of the biggest challenges in my life. He wasn't able to do a lot on his own and I had to think about how to prepare our home for him. I wondered where to start and what to do. I knew it was better to have him at home, but first I had to figure out how to make it work.

Caring for Tyrone was initially a huge demand on me and a big adjustment. When someone comes out of a professional care setting, they are used to and often require a dedicated level of care and assistance. When he first came home, this meant that I had to help Tyrone with virtually all of his daily tasks-moving from place to place, feeding, bathing, dressing, and rehabilitation exercises. I also had to adjust our daily schedule to ensure that he was getting his medications on time. Safety is also very important and I had to make some changes to our home like removing rugs and minimizing furniture to prevent hazards and falls. I also had to bring in a hospital bed for the house.

At first, I was working full time but soon lost my position because of the around-the-clock care Tyrone required. My sister and her family then moved in to help me, and having their assistance was invaluable. You just don't realize until you're in this situation all of the little details you have to attend to and the time that it takes to do it. However, little by little, Tyrone was able to do more on his own.

Being an in-home caregiver is a big responsibility and it brings considerable new pressures. It can be stressful knowing that you have someone else's life in your hands and making decisions for them. You also want to provide the best care that you can for your loved one. Despite these challenges, or maybe because of them, caring for someone like this is also incredibly rewarding. I know that he is more comfortable and relaxed in our own home. And it has been a joy to watch him grow and progress.

Bringing Tyrone home was one of the best decisions I have ever made. And I have recently been taking nursing assistant classes and have enrolled in a local respite care program to help others who may be new to the caregiving situation. I know firsthand their special circumstances and needs and hope this training will allow me to better support them. My advice to other caregivers is to identify resources that can help you find the information and services you will need in taking on this important chapter in life. Ask Medicare and the local Department of Aging are resources available that can help caregivers to do just that. But there is one thing that caregivers need to do for themselves. They need to remember to take care of themselves so they have the strength, energy and patience needed to care for their loved one.